Well, it's been a busy spring and summer and I had to put some of my projects on the back burner ... Living Beyond Recovery has been one of them.
I have made a commitment to be more efficient and learn how to become a super blogger! After all, what I really want is to share with everyone I can all the lessons I am learning! Here is a resource for those of you who'd like to learn more about blogging.
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Recently I spoke about our mind and what it does when we engage into something we have never done before. The first thoughts our mind will bring up are about all the reasons why we can't do this new thing. Whether it is something that has never done by anyone before, or something that WE haven't done before, there is a part of us that will want to prevent us from doing it.
The question is: What do you do when these thoughts come up? If you pay attention to your mind, you'll hear "no, I can't do that," or "Who do you think you are? Are you kidding me? There is no way!", or "just wait until tomorrow ...." Whatever it is that your mind is telling you, most likely it will be something that is intended to stop you on your tracks! So, are you going to give up right away? Or are you the type of person who will argue with the "voice" and say "No! Nothing is going to stop me from achieving this goal!"
Most people stop immediately taking action toward their goals at the first objection of their conscious mind. They just abandon their desires and goals. They don't know that the conscious mind is just bringing up what is in their subconscious mind. Think of it: if we are trying to do something new, get into a zone we haven't ventured into before, there is no familiar "data" in our subconscious mind.
So we look at our current circumstances and start agreeing with the negative thoughts that surged into our mind: "Yeah, you're right, what was I thinking? My life isn't so bad, why do I want anything more anyway?" If you are not the type of person to accept your circumstances and still can't move forward, you may fall into the victim mentality and start feeling sorry for yourself or even resentful of others seemingly luckier than you are.
If you want to improve your life you must grow into a new person, one who is strong and committed to your dreams and goals and never gives up. Do you have what it takes? There are many obstacles on your path and you must be determined to eliminate or get past each one of these obstacles. The very first and biggest obstacle is yourself and your negative mind. Highly successful people have learned how to master their mind for success. I have learned from my mentors, several of these highly successful persons, and I am now sharing what they taught me with you.
• Wednesday, May 7, 2008 - Train Your Mind for Success
Train Your Mind for Success
Do you have a tendency to procrastinate taking action to reach your dreams, just because you don't feel ready? If that's the case, you are in trouble. The truth is that you may never feel ready if you don't start taking action. When you stay in our comfort zone you stop growing, plain and simple. Do you know what happens to a plant that stops growing? It dies! Yes, the same happens for us, human beings. Our spirit suffocates and shrivels.
In my coaching work, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing one of my clients achieve their true life dream and mission. Together we develop a clear vision of their dream and we create a solid plan of action to get there. Then, whether they feel ready or not, we start! There is a risk involved because it requires entering an unknown zone -- well that's exactly the point, isn't it?
The human mind is a funny thing -- it is a powerful thing that will trick you into thinking you are not meant to have what you want out of life. It will come up will all the reasons why "you can't" achieve something. Everyone's mind functions that way. The problem is that most people let their negative mind run their lives and decide for them. The winners, however, know that they must never believe everything their mind says. They know that they must master their mind in order to succeed. Your job, if you want to succeed, is to say "no" when your mind comes up with reasons why you can't -- just keep saying "no" until your mind starts coming up with ways that "you can" achieve what you want.
Coaching question: Do you know that when you master just this little trick of the mind, you will be well on your way to amazing success in your life? This week, watch how you let your mind take over your life. Do you let it stop you? Any time you witness your mind telling you why you can't do something, immediately say "no" and continue thinking about ways that you can.
Be absolutely determined to take action, no matter what, and see your life unfolding in front of you. Opportunities will start coming your ways, great ideas will develop, your creativity will be unleashed, and there will be no stopping you any longer!
Join our free teleclass on "Train Your Mind for Success!" next week
• Monday, April 14, 2008 - What is Your Authentic Path?
What is Your Authentic Path?
Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
In the past, many of us were following down a path, that of self-destruction. Before I started my recovery, I was the kind of person who didn't know where to go. I was insecure and lost. So I followed a path, encouraged by other lost souls, who like me were drowning their pain in substance abuse and other addictions. Then, one day I decided to follow another path. I decided to follow the path of those hopeful souls, those who wanted to save themselves. I chose recovery -- or maybe recovery chose me. Whichever it was, doesn't matter. I am here.
When I found this quote this morning, I started thinking what a turnaround my life has been. I used to be a follower. Now I am a leader. I do go where there is no path and I do leave a trail. I understand that not everyone is cut out to become a leader out there in the world. However, if we want to live a great life, beyond recovery, we must find a way to become a leader of oneself, of that inner world, that conversation we have with ourselves everyday. Are you the leader of your own life? Or are you just following that inner voice that is destructive and negative? Are you in charge of your destiny or are you letting others decide for you?
Ralph Waldo Emerson is a true inspiration for me today. This is about being true to one self. We are all similar in many ways, but we also are truly unique, each and every one of us. What is the path you want to create so you can be true to your very own spirit? Do you have the courage it takes to step out of the main stream and go where is no path? Will you leave a trail that may help others?
Coaching Question: Are you following down an existing path that may no longer fit who you are? Is it time for you to create your own? This week, be mindful of the choices you make each day. Are these choices in alignment with your true, unique self? Make a list of these items in your life that no longer are a reflection of you and become willing to let them go. Think of the horizon in front of you; is this the direction you really want? Sometimes we need to readjust our aim. Are you on automatic pilot or do you stay in a place of mindfulness? Maybe it is time for some reevaluation - so you keep going where there is no path - just you true, unique adventure, one that makes a difference, one that leaves a trail for others to follow, who are still in need of a path, until they are ready to create their own.
"There is a voice inside us who speaks down to us and is disempowering. Don't listen!" Ghislaine Mahler - Author "Mastering Your Inner World"
I call that voice the inner-critic voice. I have named my inner-critic Fred, so I can actually converse with that critical part of myself and put "him" where it belongs - not in charge of my life!
We all have an inner-critic. Some of us have developed enough self-confidence in life to be able to keep our inner-critic under control. In some cases, we learn to transform it into an inner-ally. How do we create this transformation? The inner-critic becomes the inner-critique, our ally. He reminds us to make certain we are doing our best, becoming a mechanism connected to a value of excellence.
My professional coaching experience has shown me, over the years, that many of us let our inner-critic control our lives in quite a powerful way. An added challenge is that many of us don't even have any awareness of the critic's presence. We just think it is who we are! So, what is the inner-critic, really?
It is a voice inside us who speaks down to us and is disempowering. This voice may start small, discouraging us from taking even the smallest steps toward change or improvement in our lives. However, if we leave this voice unchallenged, it grows to dominate us and our lives. For those of us who are in recovery, we used to call this the voice of the disease. It is that, I agree, and it is much more. Even people who are not challenged by the disease of addiction, have the voice of the inner-critic. Therefore, I must say that the critical voice is not the voice of the disease, but just that addiction is one of the things the inner-critic chooses to keep us small in our lives. I may even take the risk, here, to face quite a reaction from some of you, in recovery, by saying that addiction was simply an act of avoidance of the inner-critic voice! This, my friends, is the truth as I see it.
So we have work to do, as does everyone else who is a human being: we must face our inner demons and transform them into allies. If you meet someone in the street who starts yelling at you and tells you how stupid, incapable and no-good you are, I hope you have the guts to refute what they say! The work at hand is then for you to realize that the inner-critic is often yelling in that fashion, and not only do you not "realize" that this is going on, but you think it is true and you follow that voice.
Coaching question: The first step is to become aware of your inner-dialogue. Once you catch yourself listening to your inner-critic, turn around in your mind and face that part of yourself. I'll say: "Fred, all you want is put me down and I am not going to listen to you anymore!" This may sound ridiculous to you but I assure you it is not! I challenge you to do that mental work and you will experience dramatic results in your life. I recommend giving a name to your inner-critic so it will become easier for you to distinguish yourself from "him" or "her."
Know that YOU are much stronger than your inner-critic, although he may be quite stubborn. It will take some persistence on your part, but I guarantee that you will succeed, and before you know it you will be able to step into your personal power in ways you thought impossible before.
"Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much power you have. - Oprah Winfrey
For the past twenty years, Oprah has been a powerful role model for me. I am not unique; millions of men and women have been greatly inspired by her power and wisdom, her charisma and her ability to stay open and real as her success rose to amazing heights. Here is a woman who, as we know, has grown up in a poor and abusive environment. She made a clear decision that she would not let her circumstances dictate her life, she stood tall and went after her dreams. What an inspiration for all of us!
I see how much power there is in me. I am talking about personal power. What is it? Passion? Energy? Courage? Personal power is probably a combination of all that, mixed with a willingness to be open and honest about who I am. It is also about being totally committed to my inner truth, my inner knowing, and to be unafraid of revealing that truth to the world. I love being in alignment with that. That's when I can see everything flowing effortlessly in my life.
The question then becomes: What do I do with this personal power? Well, for me today, it is about starting Living Beyond Recovery. I listen to my inner guidance and I hear loud and clear: the special gifts my higher power entrusted me with must be shared with millions of men and women! At first it scared me, of course. But as Oprah said, unless I do great things with my power, how can I face myself each day? So here I am, trying to figure it all out, one day at a time, sharing what I have with you all. What I do is teach others how to love themselves. Not a small order. That's my mission, my gift to share with you. That is my path.
Coaching Questions: Where is your personal power? What do you choose to do with it each day? Are you willing and ready to do great things with it? What is gnawing at you? Are you listening? Are you ready to take action and share your special gifts with the world? What an exciting endeavor! Share with someone who is supportive, share with us by leaving a comment on this blog or write about it in your journal. Get closer to the idea and start taking one small action each day. Don't let one more day pass by without sharing your power with the world. After all, this is the very reason we are here. Go for it!
One of the key elements of living beyond recovery is to achieve more success in our life. Whether you focus on your career, your finances, your relationships, or other areas, does not matter. The bottom line is that in order to increase success you must change your self-image.
Let's face it, out there we had either a very poor self-image or none at all. I remember feeling very insecure. The sense I had of myself was that of a "fraud," a "mistake," someone who didn't belong and didn't have the right to even breathe! Once in recovery, I walked down a slow path of "repair" to heal all my emotional and physical wounds. A couple of days ago, I had my 22nd birthday/anniversary of sobriety. I was walking my dog that morning, thinking how proud I was of myself for that. Yes, it's all been one-day-at-a-time, but I am the one who achieved that. Twenty-two years!! That calls for BIG celebration of my spirit, for a prayer of huge gratitude and joy!
Humility is a good thing when it is felt and expressed in a healthy way. When it is used to keep yourself feeling small and inadequate, it is unhealthy and self-destructive. So we step into a new realm, that of success. We must recognize and acknowledge all our successes, the small ones as well as the big ones. Are you the kind of person who says "Oh, that was nothing" when someone compliments you on one of your successes? I used to do that. A couple of years ago, I did a very courageous thing at a transformational seminar. Most people around me were terrified to do what we were required. I was a bit nervous but I knew that I would succeed because I wasn't giving myself the option to fail. Once done, the facilitator asked for a show of hands of people who thought it wasn't a big deal. I raised my hand. He said "if you can't celebrate your successes, you are in big trouble!" I realized how right on he was. I was in the habit of doing great things but, I was letting my past circumstances dictate my current self-image. Result? Perpetrating that poor self-image, thus creating poor results.
I made a change in my life that day - I stepped into a new self-image. I came to accept seeing myself as a highly successful person, someone who succeeds in everything I do. Wow, how profound that was and still is today. My life hasn't been the same since. Every day I spend a few minutes stretching and improving my self image in the direction and areas of my life, to create the changes I want.
Coaching Question: How is your self image today? Is it in need of some "remodeling?" Are you still hanging on to the old sense of yourself, maybe one of failure? Are you still allowing your mind to tell you you're not good enough and that success is for others, or that it's bad? This week, start a success journal. Spend a few minutes every night to write down at least five successes. Watch your mind as you write down your list - is it minimizing what you've done? Small achievements are as important as the big ones! You don't have to be superman or superwoman to have a healthy and successful self-image. It is time for a change. Celebrate YOU!
"Most folks are about as happy as
they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln
Happiness is a big topic these days. Even national television is starting to bring it up in their newscasts. How cool is that? Of course the danger of that is that all the people who aren’t into it will choose this opportunity to complain about it. Oh well, too bad for them. But, that’s exactly the point, isn’t’ it?
To be happy isn’t something that happens by magic, like one day we wake up and poof! There it is, we are happy. Being happy is a decision we make, it is a commitment to ourselves. It is an attitude we choose, to love ourselves enough to hold that feeling of contentment and happiness tenderly, sacredly in our hearts, no matter what, regardless of what our environment brings us. Easier said than done, of course. Is it worth the effort? Definitely.
We sometimes let our thinking go into the “when I have this or that, or when I make that much money, then I’ll be happy. The truth is that this kind of thinking doesn’t work. Why? Two reasons come to my mind immediately: 1. Being happy doesn’t depend on our outside circumstances, it’s all about our inner experience. 2. Always putting happiness into the future keeps attracting “I’ll be happy when …” feelings, so we just never get there.
You don’t like your circumstances? Then make all the changes you need. Take full responsibility for your life and your happiness. If you need help to make these changes, then get it. Can’t make any changes right now? Well, it’s even more of a reason to choose the attitude of happiness now; acceptance will be the key for you. Being unhappy about something you can’t change is a trap to be unloving to yourself. So choose to be happy, keeping in mind that as soon as you can make a change in your circumstances, you will.
Coaching Question: How happy do I choose to be today and what can I do to improve on that? This week, I want to encourage you to focus on all the good in your life and the happiness that it brings to your heart. The more you do that, the faster all the things that aren’t so great in your life will start shifting to match what you feel and the energy you project. Not sure this is true? Well, give it a chance and watch the miracles start happening in your life!
I just read this quote: ""Long-range goals keep you from being frustrated by short-term failures." - James Cash Penney
I thought about that for a few seconds and realized that I function totally the other way. I get impatient with my long-range goals, so I truly appreciate my short-term wins and victories! They remind me that if I just keep plugging along, I will reach my bigger goals that take more time and persistence to achieve.
For people like us, who come from an addictive background, a perspective of success and achievement is often thwarped. It's almost like it is in our DNA and it requires true mental effort not to succumb into the old negative and disempowering beliefs and self-talk. So, one day at a time we remind ourselves that we are true successes because we have stepped out of dysfunction. That took a lot of courage and strength. We are the embodiement of success, let's never forget that and let's celebrate what a true miracle that is.
So, daily I celebrate and embrace my short-term successes. T. Harv Eker , one of my training colleagues and mentors taught me to develop the habit of celebrating daily successes. Every night, he says, write down at least 5 successes you have had during the day. Living Beyond Recovery is about letting go of the sorry story of addiction we told for years, and celebrating life every day with joy and gratitude.
We see it everywhere, adolescents are increasingly addicted to video games. Below is the copy of an article published today in the Wall Street Journal. What are WE going to do about this? We are the parents in recovery and we are watching our kids fall deeper and deeper in this highly destructive addiction for which there seems to be no official support programs.
Teenage Zombies
By STEPHEN MOORE January 4, 2008; Page W11
My new year's resolution is to get my two teenage sons back. They've been abducted -- by the cult of Nintendo. I'm convinced that video games are Japan's stealth strategy to turn our kids' brains into silly putty as payback for dropping the big one on Hiroshima.
The trouble began last summer when my sons started spending virtually every unsupervised hour camped out in front of the computer screen engaged in multiplayer role games like World of Warcraft and Counterstrike. At the start of this craze, I wrote it off as merely a normal phase of adolescence. I was confident that, at 14 and 16, they would soon be more interested in chasing real-life girls than virtual video hoodlums.
Boy, was I wrong. Their compulsion became steadily more destructive. They grew increasingly withdrawn, walking around like the zombies from "Night of the Living Dead." Unless I pried them (forcibly) from the computer, they would spend five or six hours at a time absorbed in these online fantasy worlds. My wife tried to calm me down by observing that "at least they're not out having sex or doing drugs." But how would that be any worse?
Both are decent athletes, but their muscles began to atrophy right before our very eyes; their skin tone paled from lack of sunlight. Their idea of playing sports these days is inserting Madden football or the NBA slam-dunk game into our Xbox.
We recently considered purchasing the new Nintendo Wii, because at least its games -- simulated bowling, snow boarding, guitar playing and motorcycling -- require physical activity. Nintendo even advertises this product as good exercise for kids, and I have colleagues who swear that they get a great workout from Wii boxing and skiing. Alas, a new study from the British Health Journal suggest that Wii is no substitute for the real and vigorous outdoor exercise that adolescent boys need.
My wife and I aren't entirely inept parents -- our 6-year-old seems fairly well-adjusted anyway. Back in October we established for the older boys strict screen-time limits. It was then that we discovered the true extent of their addiction. They ranted and raved and cursed and even threw things -- almost as if demons had taken possession of them. These are classic withdrawal symptoms; they craved a fix. When we installed parental controls on the computer, our boys scoffed. It took them about 15 minutes to disable them. We've become so desperate that we may have to get rid of the computers entirely, though that may hamper their school work.
It turns out that we're not alone in our predicament. A parent down the street confided to us that his 12-year-old son was so obsessed with video games that he wouldn't take even a three-minute break from gaming to go to the bathroom -- with unfortunate results. The other day we saw a kid at church, in a semi-trance, going down the aisle to Holy Communion while clicking on a hand-held Game Boy. Talk about worshiping a false god.
This summer the American Medical Association's annual conference debated a proposal to declare excessive video gaming a "formal disorder" in the category of other addictions like alcohol, drugs and gambling. One study released at the AMA conference found that many kids who spend a disproportionate amount of time playing games "achieve more control and success of their social relationships in the virtual reality realm than in real relationships."
I'm not one to blame every human frailty on some faddish psychiatric disorder. But I'm persuaded that computer games are the new crack cocaine. The testimonials from parents of online gamers are horrific: kids not taking showers, not eating or sleeping, falling behind in school. Some parents are forced to send their kids to therapeutic boarding schools, which charge up to $5,000 a month, to combat the gaming addiction.
The war lords of the gaming industry tout research on the positive attributes of gaming -- and admittedly there are some. One study published this year in Psychological Science finds that gaming improves eyesight. A famous 2004 study by researchers at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York, found that video games improve manual dexterity and hand-eye coordination: "Doctors who spend at least 3 hours a week playing video games," the researchers reported, "made about 37% fewer mistakes in laproscopic surgery." Fine. I'll give my sons the joysticks back when they become orthopedic surgeons.
In the meantime, what is to be done? I'm not suggesting making the games illegal -- we don't need a multibillion-dollar black market in video games. But I am pleading that parents take this social problem seriously and intervene, as my wife and I wish we had done much earlier.
November sales for the Xbox 360, Wii, PlayStation 3, and the games that go with them, were up a gaudy 52% over last year. In my neck of the woods, Wii's were such hot sellers that they weren't available in the stores at any price. I'm proud to report that we rejected our youngest son's pleas for a PlayStation for Christmas. He pouts that we're the meanest parents in the world. Someday he'll thank us. A mind really is a terrible thing to waste.
Mr. Moore is a member of The Wall Street Journal's editorial board.
The spirit of the holidays just hit me in the past day or so.
This morning, a little girl who lives near my office was so excited to give me one of the Christmas cookies she had made. She was so proud and so happy to share! I asked her to say hi to Santa for me, if she managed to see him. She responded affirmatively with a giant spark in her blue eyes. Thanks Gretel.
Then I received an email from one of my mastermind group buddies with this song on u-tube that I can't help sharing with you, because it reflects some of what I feel.
With much love to all of my friends, in and out of the rooms!
• Monday, November 26, 2007 - Changing Our Self-Image
For many of us, being in recovery means that we saved our own lives. What an accomplishment!
One day, I just knew I had reached the place that was the very bottom. I knew there was no option for me to go further down the deep, dark hole I had made of my life. It is quite remarkable for me to think how powerful that moment was, when I made the decision to reach out and ask for help. 180-degree turn around! So many of us have made that decision and yet I don't think we totally grasp the importance of what that means.
We celebrate our recovery, one day at a time, probably because we have a support system that teaches us to do so. Yet, I see so many men and women in recovery keeping an image of themselves as a failure. Come on, you guys! You are awesome human beings who refused to give up! You are true warriors of the heart!
It is time to change our self-image. We are not just "recovering" people, we are amazing, powerful, beautiful human beings. We are highly successful on our spiritual path. Most of my life, I saw myself as a bad person. I was filled with shame for my entire life and well into the first few years of my recovery. With lots of therapy, I gradually cleansed myself of that shame. Building a healthy self-esteem was my new focus in life. Today, over 21 years into it, I have evolved from building self-esteem to embracing an image of myself as a successful person. As I am focusing on shifting my self-image (the way I see myself, from the inside-out) I just had a breakthrough: when I was a kid, we used to play Monopoly with my brothers and my mother. I remember clearly wanting to win the game. It wasn't because i wanted to be better than the others, it is just that I really valued success! My mother shamed me for years and years about that. She said I was cheating and kept ridiculing me. So I went on in my life feeling like a bad person destined to fail at anything. Today I realize how vibrant and joyful my spirit was! Yes, I loved success because it was for me a way to let my true Spirit out!
So, I am now embracing that part of me again. Yes, I am a success, I always have been a success and I will always be a success,as long as I continue to let my Spirit shine through me. How about you? Do you see yourself as a success? What will you do today to let that wonderful Spirit in you shine?
For many of us, living beyond recovery, holidays may be difficult and bring up old feelings. It is easy to "slip" back into the old experiences and even expect having a difficult time. So, like Dr. Phil, I ought to ask you that big question: "And how is that working for you?"
Thanksgiving is truly an opportunity to recharge our "Gratitude battery." Whatever your situation currently is, reconnecting to your sense of gratitude will elevate your sense of well-being and make your day a better one. It is true that when we are in an emotional rut, feeling better may not seem to be a possibility. But the truth is that we do have a choice. We are NOT powerless over the way we feel. Of course, if you'd rather have a rotten day and feel miserable, I am confident you'll know how to do that just fine.
For those of you who would rather have a great day but feel a bit nervous about it, here are a few pointers to help you strengthen your attitude and enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday:
Think of the way your life used to be before your recovery, when you were in addiction mode. Take the time to remember how you used to feel about yourself, about your life in general, what you used to do to abuse yourself. Now, look at the way your life is today, the way you have grown and how fortunate you are to be in recovery. This should be taking you to a deep place of gratitude right away. If it doesn't, maybe it is time to reach out for help again.
Reach out and help someone less fortunate than you. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen in your area. This will do it, I assure you.
If you are spending time with family and this is a source of tension for you, think of the "uncomfortable" comments they might make as "passing logs" on a river bed. Just watch them slide gently by you. It works for me to stay emotionally disengaged. Remember that people say and do what they say and do for their own reasons. You do not have to adopt their reasons as yours. Just witness and let go gently, with love.
The day before the event, write a new gratitude list and when you think you are done, just add 10 or more additional items on it. Take that list with you and read through it several times during the day.
Know that you can train and recondition your mind. When the "nasty" inner voice comes in and starts bringing you down, just say "no." That voice is not who you are, it is just an old tape you recorded in the past. You can choose not to listen to it and give into it. YOU are the master of your mind.
Share your gratitude with someone and make a decision to be highly contagious with your good energy and positive attitude.
• Friday, November 16, 2007 - Living Beyond Recovery is LIVE!!
November 15th 2007 will be a date to remember! This is Living Beyond Recovery birth day. At least it will be memorable for me and I hope it becomes important to you as well.
I've spent many years searching for more resources for people in recovery like me, looking for more. For me, after a few years in twelve-step programs, there wasn't enough anymore. Meetings were always great, but I was at the top of the ladder and I wanted a bigger and taller ladder! It is my hope that Living Beyond Recovery can become that bigger and taller ladder for you, if you feel a need for more support and structure in your life, beyond recovery.
We aren't just meant to be people "in recovery" but it is our birthright to claim a fantastic life for ourselves, to find our true path to fulfillment.
I welcome you to Living Beyond Recovery. Please go to the main site http://www.livingbeyondrecovery.com and become a member, if you haven't done so already. Join our teleclasses and participate. Come and grow with us.
This blog is OUR voice. As the founder and driving force behing Living Beyond Recovery, I invite you to dialogue with me on this blog. So, click on the "Post a Comment" link below and give me your comments, your ideas, what you'd like to see, what you like, how you want to grow!
• Tuesday, November 13, 2007 - Patience and Persistence
Well, today was another lesson for me. Everything was set up to launch our Living Beyond Recovery membership site! We were determined to launch in September, then October came and went and we were still not ready. I remember we used to talk about the fact that in the construction world, things always take more time than originally planned.
In my addiction recovery, I learned to have patience because personal growth always takes longer than we think, or more exactly than we want. Right? Okay, so now it is mid-November, we were all set to go for today - this afternoon we ran a series of final tests ... and "bing-bang" ... there is a glitch in the registration codes!! Since I don't know much about registration coding and php deals, I am reminded that I sometimes am totally powerless and must rely on others to fix problems!
So, it seems that it will be a few more days before we can launch. Patience is indeed a virtue I am being challenged to nurture within myself. Thanks to many years of hard work, I know "never to give up" and to persist no matter what!
Patience and persistence ... an interesting contrasting set of qualities, not often seen together!
So, my dear recovery friends, hang tight! We want the membership site to be absolutely fantastic. Be patient too, it's coming any day now!
I heard from my friend Kenny Werner yesterday. Kenny and I met twenty-one years ago. We were just starting our recovery, meetings every day, sharing tears and laughter, sharing hope and sorrow. What a journey this has been!
Kenny Werner is a super talented jazz composer and pianist. A real genius if you ask me! He recently released his latest album "Lawn Chair Society," with Blue Note Records. If you are into jazz at all, I urge you to get it! If you are not into jazz, I urge you to get it anyway and give it to a friend who loves jazz. They'll thank you. Kenny is one of these people totally committed to his art. Selling his CDs is what allows him to continue creating such magic for our ears. He is listed for the Grammies this year. Let's all "intend" and "pray" for Kenny to be nominated and awarded a Grammy. You go Kenny!
Please tell all your recovery friends about Kenny, and ask them to buy his CD. You'll love it!
I have been busy with the prelaunch of Living Beyond Recovery which will be ready very soon. Yes, I neglected the Living Beyond Recovery blog ... but for good reasons, indeed.
Are you a person in recovery? Are you a member of a 12-step program? Are you looking for more resources as you continue to grow in your life? Check out www.livingbeyondrecovery.com
I am proud and excited about it. This is going to be an outstanding resource for many of you who, like me, want to continue growing and expanding, to create lives which are not just about recovery, but about joy and success, about becoming healthy, authentic, happy, and successful!
Feel free to join as a free member. Just remember this is in prelaunch mode, and many of the features are not quite yet in place.
Would you like to be part of the creative team that puts it all into place? Do you have ideas you want to contribute? Use the Contact Us form on www.livingbeyondrecovery.com and I will personally call you back.
• Thursday, July 19, 2007 - Law of Attraction - How to make it really work in your life
I attended the Seminar of the Century in Aspen, Colorado a couple of weeks ago. What an awesome event! World renowned speakers were presenting and four thousands of us, enthusiastic participants, delighted in absorbing all the wisdom offered to us. I feel totally blessed to have been part of this amazing event.
As always, I find it irresistible to share with everyone I know, the benefits of my learning. So, here is one HUGE nugget for today: Bob Proctor, one of the main presenters in the movie "The Secret" was there, explaining how to make the Law of Attraction really work for us, what's the secret behind The Secret. For many of us, living beyond recovery, a big part of life is about overcoming the negative impact our dysfunctional origin has had, and often still has on us. This impact is affecting our mind greatly, the beliefs we have, the relationship we have to the Universe, our sense of deserving greater riches than we currently have. For me, it is always a challenge to continue expanding my prosperity, allowing it in my life. I always find resistance there so over the years, I have studied the Law of Prosperity.
There was Bob Proctor, talking to us about the challenges we face to transform our unconscious beliefs, the paradigms in our unconscious mind. These paradigms dictate how we use our time, how we attract money, relationships; they dictate our happiness, our logic, our perception of everything around us!
I started studying his program and am quite impressed with it. So, if you have any interest at all in improving your life, opening yourself to more prosperity and happiness, check it out. Believe me, I know a good thing when it comes along, and this is one of them! Don't let it pass you.
I am so enthused about it that I will most likely start a Mastermind Group around his program for members of Living Beyond Recovery. Here is the info about Bob Proctor's SGR program.
• Thursday, June 28, 2007 - Building Self-Confidence
Personal Success Requires a Strong Personal Foundation
These days, everyone is talking about The Law of Attraction.Some of us have known about it for years, or even decades, while the general public recently found out about it with the release of the movie The Secret.A huge marketing campaign followed; Larry King, Oprah, and other television celebrities hosted the makers of the film.It's great!We can all use more awareness and help understanding the Law of Attraction. For us, who are in recovery, we learned to turn "it" over to our Higher Power, and that's one element of success in applying the Law of Attraction.
The problem, though, is that most people aren't exactly experiencing the results they were hoping for as they apply the principles of the Law of Attraction in their lives.Why?One thing you must know, is that you attract exactly what you are "ready" for.What does that mean?It means, to attract BIG things in your life, you must BE BIG on the inside.Everything starts on the inside, no buts about it.
If you own a small house and you want to expand on it, you must examine the foundation and strengthen it, so it can support the added floor.The taller the building, the deeper and stronger its foundation!Similarly, creating personal success takes a strong personal foundation.We can learn all kinds of techniques, acquire new knowledge, buy more information -but nothing will stick unless we strengthen our personal foundation.Millions of people read great books every day, filled with great wisdom and knowledge.For sure, you have read some of these books with the intention of making changes in your life.Did it work for you?If it did, either you're lucky or maybe you already have the strong foundation that can support this new learning.However, the vast majority of people read a book, really love it, and soon after, completely forget about it - resulting change: none.
So, how do you know whether or not you have a strong personal foundation?Here are a few of the many signs of a personal foundation that needs strengthening:
you are putting up with a life that isn't what you want it to be,
you say "yes" when you truly mean "no",
deep down you know there is a better plan for you but you can't grasp it,
you lack energy although there is nothing wrong with your health,
people around you don't seem to listen or respect you,
you do a lot for others, but nobody is willing to reciprocate,
you feel disconnected from your desires and your dreams,
you are fed up and discouraged about your life.
When we live and grow beyond recovery, we often don't know what it feels and looks like to have a strong personal foundation. It just hasn't been part of our lives. Maybe that's the way you feel like too? The great news though, is that you can learn it now and learn it fast!
I have written a report to help you get started: "10 Stepping Stones to Building a Strong Personal Foundation.To receive your free report , go to www.yourpersonalfoundation.com/free_report.html
Talk to you soon! Ideas and comments? Please post them here.
• Monday, June 25, 2007 - Day one on the Living Beyond Recovery blog!
Hi, my name is Ghislaine Mahler and I am the founder of Living Beyond Recovery™. We will be launching our site in just a few weeks and we are so excited! We have so many great ideas for bringing great content to our members, I have a hard time staying put here.
Okay, so what is Living Beyond Recovery™? A new, great resource for men and women in recovery from addictions, twelve-steppers and others, who want to expand their personal, professional and business growth beyond recovery issues. We are going to offer lots of goodies like free teleclasses, loads of great articles on all kinds of personal development, spirituality, business building, career development topics; we will offer seminars, group and one-on-one coaching services by professional coaches in long-term recovery; we will have a great forum for members, opportunities to list your businesses and create business joint ventures with other members, yearly conferences with top world presenters and personal growth or business experts; we are also going to develop a "shopping mall" with special discounts we will negotiate with all kinds of companies, all for our members; we are thinking about a travel agency with discounts for our members; and what else?
Well, YOU tell us! Are you in recovery? What are you looking for? What kind of additional support do you want? Share all your ideas with us and everything that seems in alignment with our vision will be added in our content!
Resources, tools, and discussion for men and women in recovery from addictions, wanting to expand their personal, professional, and/or business growth.
Do you have a tendency to procrastinate taking action to reach your dreams, just because you don't feel ready? If that's the case, you are in trouble. 
What is Your Authentic Path?
Thanksgiving and Gratitude
